xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
