i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We left an ass print on the piano.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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