Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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