i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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