Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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