It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
