Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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