Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
