chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
