I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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