before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
