It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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