That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
