"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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