i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
