so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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