I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
