let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Randomize
