OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
