Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
