My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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