The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
