We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize