When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
