I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
no, he came in my armpit
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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