Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Bring me that man meat
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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