is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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