Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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