i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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