Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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