It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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