The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
