dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
