Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
