Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
