Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
