so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
