Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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