Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just had sex on a roof
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
