I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I got chris browned last night
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
