Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
