Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
