I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
