I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
