Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
