woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
