I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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