So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
