They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
