She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize