Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
