he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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