if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize