i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
