i don't like sucking hair
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
