Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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