How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
