Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
