It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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