Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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