Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
