I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
