Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
