fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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