Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
