She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
