His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
