I got chris browned last night
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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