I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
