I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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