We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
