Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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