Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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