I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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