I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
