doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
